The Realist (ISTJ)
Realists are honest, responsible, and uphold their promises. You can count on their word, dependability, and long-term commitment, even during the tough times. They will pay attention to and attend to your needs, bringing you the things that make you smile. You can count on them to do things the right way and cautiously, evaluating all facts and details. They may seem serious and wise on the surface, but deep down, they have a quirky and lovable sense of humor.
honest and direct
strong-willed and dutiful
calm and practical
always by the book
often unreasonably blame themselves
😍 Attracted By
😡 Pet Peeves
🐥 Mating Call
If a Realist likes you, they will ask you out eventually, but it may take a while. You will be surprised and touched by their effort, from the details they spent putting into the date, their appearance, or their effort to go out of their comfort zone by being more outgoing with you. They'll remember the details that make you smile, and try to make your life easier by doing little things for you like bringing you a pillow while at work so that you're comfortable or taking you out to eat your favorite food you mentioned that one time. They will try to be around you, talking to you, or standing close to you, but they'll move slowly, making sure they can trust you before they make a move. If they don't like you, don't worry, they won't lead you on at all. Expect no coy smiles, accidentally brushing your arm or anything. Flirting is practically a foreign language for Realists.
😘 Flirting Tips
Do:– Pay attention to your appearance and style of dress. They have a keen eye for detail and are attracted to standard beauty ideals.– Stick with an agreed-upon plan to help avoid giving them anxiety about the uncertainty.– Be polite and respectful of their things and personal space.– Be honest and communicate straightforwardly. They will better enjoy the conversation without emotional complications.– Help out with practical needs or gestures. They appreciate tangible acts of kindness.– Take the lead and help them to have fun and get out of their shell. They will appreciate you helping them to enjoy the moment.– Show them you pay attention to the details.– Be on time on dates and show them you're dependable.– Listen attentively.Don't:– Don't embarrass them publicly. The anxiety will haunt their vivid memories in a never-ending playback loop in their heads.– Avoid vague or unrealistic conversations.– Don't pressure them to socialize too much.– Don't break your promise and commitments.– Don't show up late to dates.– Don't be emotionally over-reactive. Try to discuss your feelings calmly.– Don't pressure them to talk about their feelings early in the relationship. Let them decide when they're ready.– Don't give the impression of being lazy or messy.– Don't disrespect rules or social propriety.– Don't put them in a state of uncertainty and surprise all the time.
💍 Relationship Material
– Show that you're reliable, trustworthy, and keep your word.– Respect their privacy and space.– Allow them the time to open up emotionally and think before responding or making a commitment.–You take the effort to reciprocate their hard work and dedication.
⚽ Likely Interests
smell and sounds of rain and cool breezes
🎁 Love Languages
1. Quality Time
2. Acts of Service
3. Words of Affirmation
4. Physical Touch
🧠 Love Philosophy
As people who take their commitments seriously, Realists are usually not interested in casual relationships or flings. They want a partner who is committed for the long term, someone reliable, trustworthy, and keeps their word. They enjoy stability and certainty in their lives, and dates that expect them to be spontaneous will stress them. They are most comfortable when on dates that are planned in advance and know what to expect.Realists like to take it nice and slow during the dating phase. They need time to open up emotionally and be comfortable with someone. They are usually very private individuals, and it takes a while for them to build trust. They appreciate partners who are mutually supportive and can genuinely listen to them. Once they are warmed up to you, they'll enjoy having in-depth conversations about their interests, ideas, and varying topics of intellectual discussion.In their commitment to their partners, Realists enjoy showing their love and appreciation through acts of service, whether doing the chores or bringing you a pillow to make you comfortable. Realists dislike phony people and can spot it pretty quickly. They desire partners who are authentic with them and can share in a stable future together. They also appreciate partners that allow them the time and freedom to pursue their interests outside of their work responsibilities. They also secretly enjoy at least the idea of being spontaneous or adventurous and appreciate a partner who can help them get out of their shell.
🌹 Ideal Date
A Realist's ideal date is a traditional one where they can know what to expect. They are fans of the tried-and-true dating rituals, like starting off with a dinner and a movie and getting to know one another, hopefully creating a sincere and meaningful connection. Dates with too many surprises and uncertainty will stress them out. They'll love a partner who shows up on time and shows that they're dependable. They'll also like it if a date treats themselves and others with kindness and respect. And last but not least, partners who can help them get out of their shells and live a little will win their heart.
😱 Relationship Fear
Usually private and risk averse, Realists don't often open up their emotions to others. They worry of opening their hearts to someone only to subject themselves to painstaking uncertainty and eventual rejection. The tumultuous ups and downs that is love can turn them off to dating in general. They worry about being stuck in emotional limbo where they aren't sure how they or their partner feels about them and the relationship. They take their relationships seriously and want to know where a relationship is heading. They also worry that their partner will ask them to be more emotionally expressive than they naturally are.
🤞 Secret Desire
While Realists are known to be stable and traditional, there's a hidden side to them that enjoys the idea of spontaneity and adventure. They sometimes wish they could let go and trust their impulses, exploring new ideas, things, and places without feeling hesitant because it's unknown. When alone, they may enjoy brainstorming new ideas, linking random occurrences, thoughts, and patterns, and imagining future scenarios playing out that may seem unrealistic and not in character, but entertaining to them. It's a side of them they usually only show to those closest to them so they won't feel like they would be judged for this whimsical display. It also comes out in their quirky and unconventional sense of humor. But those ideas eventually seem unproductive, and they get back to their current, more realistic responsibilities.
🤝 Friendship Philosophy
ISTJs stick with their pack through thick and thin. They honor loyalty and trust in their established social connections. Letting others into their small circle might take some time, but their company is definitely worth it. Realists devote their time and efforts to people they care about. Endearing words may not be their cup of tea, but they demonstrate their affection by providing unrivaled support and dedication.
🧘 Personal Outlook
ISTJs are a pragmatic jack-of-all-trades. They face the hard truth as it is rather than floating away from its reality. Realists are no-nonsense people who don't see life through rose-colored glasses. They shun emotional manipulation in favor of logic and data.
🤙 Hanging Out
ISTJs appreciate the company of those who try to know what excites them. Once they see their friends trying, ISTJs soften and open themselves more. Playing board games, sports, or video games are some of the many ways to hang out with them.
🗣 Communication Style
ISTJs are no-nonsense talkers. Before reaching a logical conclusion, they try to explore a situation's particulars fully. Most conversations with Realists are rooted in data, calmness, and practicality.
Others mistake ISTJs for being overly obsessed with rules and regulations and have no desire for emotional connection. In reality, Realists melt at the sight of the people they care about. They may not be expressive, but they are most likely among the last men standing for their friends and loved ones, rain or shine.
ISTJs logically resolve conflicts and differences. They are not easily offended by confrontations. It is unlikely to see Realists lose their cool even during a heated argument. They know how to humbly accept defeat with good grace when proven wrong by indisputable facts.